𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖆𝖓𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖑

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

The Evolution of Love

I’ve always been a “lover girl” through and through, but every year, I’m amazed by how my life experiences shape the way I show love. When I was younger, love felt like something you said back when someone said it to you. But now, love is deeper—it’s showing genuine care for someone’s well-being, even when it has nothing to do with you.

I often talk about the importance of decentering yourself in relationships. But I also realize that many people are just now getting to the point of fully loving themselves. Who am I to tell them to slow down on that?

For me, love has become a confirmation from God. It’s not just a feeling but an experience rooted in kindness, respect, and growth.

A Divine Confirmation

I’ve never been taught to be selfish, so I’ve always helped others through their struggles, even when they didn’t take my advice. They’d often do whatever they wanted—usually the worst-case scenario—but I digress.

When I met my fiancé, I realized love could be something entirely different. He sees me—the real me—and has helped me embrace my humanity in ways I never expected. He’s sweet, patient, and supportive, but he’s also motivated me to revisit therapy and take care of my mental health.

We have a calmness and confidence in our relationship that doesn’t need to be seen or heard to feel real. I feel like God smiles when He watches us work through challenges together and individually. My fiancé is like the friend I trust with my whole heart and my darkest thoughts if they arise. I used to think I was too weird, moody, broken, and opinionated to be loved—but I guess I was wrong. Sometimes God does this thing where He brings people into your life to remind you that He made you exactly as you are for the right people. But we often get too caught up in the idea of people instead of the reality of experiencing them.

The reality is, we’re all a work in progress, and that doesn’t make us unworthy of love. True love, though, has to be created within a safe space, a respectful space, a fun space, and a sexy space. Without that, it’s not love—it’s just another addition to an uninspired, lousy routine.

The love we share is full, kind, and pure. It feels like God truly knows me best, and I see that reflected in our connection. I’ve invested time and energy into becoming the representation of the love I need during different chapters of my life, because as I grow and change, so do my wants and needs. At the same time, I make it a priority to check in with myself to ensure I’m not placing my emotional baggage on him. Every time I reflect on the heaviness of life, trauma, and sadness, it reminds me to reconnect with my source—the love I have for myself.

Despite the twists and turns that life brings, I remember that as long as I continue to love myself, love will follow me, like the lingering scent of a favorite perfume. The goal has always been to believe that this kind of love exists, because it’s been within me all along. But through partnership, I’ve been able to collaborate and bring this love into my everyday life.

Growth Through Partnership

I’ll never forget the day I woke up in tears, overwhelmed by the feeling that I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. I went from being a hairstylist with multiple clients a day to working from home, retail, and now pet caregiving. Despite everything I’ve accomplished, I couldn’t see how far I’d come.

When I told my fiancé I wanted to go back to school but felt “too old,” he wiped my tears and reminded me: You’re never too old to do something that moves you forward in life.

Now, as a sophomore working toward my associate’s degree, I face challenges every day. But he doesn’t just encourage me—he actively helps me study and tackle assignments. He shows me that love isn’t about struggling side-by-side; it’s about supporting each other’s success.

Lessons Learned

Before meeting him, I had PTSD from chasing love in the wrong places. I desperately wanted connection, even with people who made me feel unsafe. It was humiliating to relive that nightmare over and over, year after year.

With him, I’ve learned to trust myself again. He’s helped me let go of the need to hoard feelings, people, and even old journals filled with emotional baggage. Through therapy, conversations, and signs from God, I’ve realigned with my own journey.

I’ve also learned the importance of accountability. When things aren’t aligning in my life, it’s a sign to realign myself—not to hold onto things that no longer serve me.

Gratitude and Looking Ahead

True love, for me, is being seen and supported in all my phases, decisions, and even hairstyles. It’s the freedom to be my authentic self—to laugh until I cry, cry until I laugh, and be as silly or serious as I need to be.

My fiancé isn’t my savior, but he’s been my partner in healing and growth. He’s reminded me that love comes without conditions and that partnership is about creating a safe space for each other to thrive.

As I reflect on our journey, I’m so thankful for his love, wisdom, and patience. I know one day, we’ll look back on my wild 20s and smile, knowing how far we’ve come together.

To my wonderful husband-to-be: thank you for sharing half the bed, letting me be a hot mess when I need to, and loving me through it all. Love ya, hunny!

Love is an evolving experience that teaches us more about ourselves than we could ever imagine. What has love taught you? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear your stories of growth, connection, and self-discovery.