Do you want to be a victim or victorious ?

One of the most common topics being brought up on twitter this weekend was pretty privilege. My homegirl sent me a video that really tickled my spirit so I wanted to give my honest commentary regarding the issue. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the amount of projection being emphasized in the video. Before you think I’m ruthless just take into the account how many times this girl could have taken some time to herself to think why do I feel this way? The video begins with her admitting to intentionally changing her image to impress a particular man she’s seeking. The ones that usually have nothing to offer and they hunt for vulnerable women the moment they walk into any public place. I feel like you should get pretty for you and enjoy it for you so the intention is for you to feel better about yourself. Once you wash that shit off you’re back to who you are. I think that’s why alot of people are getting so much cosmetic surgery. I hate to say it but vanity is really killing our spirit.

She goes on to say that her “friends” gets way more attention from men in comparison to her and she eventually stopped hanging out with women that took the attention away from her. I’m not going to quote the whole video but it felt more like projection rather than accountability. Beauty shouldn’t be compared it should be admired and when you’re constantly in comparison mode towards those who are born with other features other than yours you’ll be a victim forever.

This young lady is extremely beautiful to ME. Perhaps the men that she’s looking for in her particular region have some sort of illness that prohibits their ability to embrace a woman that actually looks like she’s apart of the family without any questions asked. Black people are EXTREMELY curious and they’ll be sure to ask you all the details. If you’re grown enough, you’ll tell them to mind their f******* business but that’s up to you.

Having a preference in dating is based on your personal comfort. I have no issues with black women exploring outside of their element because we do endure ALOT of shit. But it’s still alot of shit on the other side. Enjoy the video though, it’s extremely insightful on the reality of how it is to be a woman living in a fixed reality. She still has time to open her mind to the beauty within herself for overcoming so much turmoil growing up while casting it as confidence. It’s not about how you look my love, it’s about who you are. Find people who love and adore you for you, it’s not a crime…

Click the photo and just listen 🌚

What is pretty privilege?

Pretty privilege is the idea that people who are deemed more attractive based on societal beauty standards have an upper hand in the world.

As much as I’d like to defend the idea that the world wouldn’t accept you unless you need to look a certain way, I think it’s all about the spaces you try to fit yourself into. I’ve been around so many different women in my lifetime that usually never looked anything like me. I subconsciously did that so I’m able to understand the pros and the cons of being a woman living in different realities. I don’t recall ever feeling less than someone because I didn’t look like them because the goal was to look like myself.

My experience in the work world has always been interesting because during the time I was out scouting for a new job prior to me starting my business I was a little dusty to say the least. I did not invest in myself the way I do now and it’s simply because I didn’t really know who I was. I also didn’t really care about beauty standards because I was too busy trying to be the black Betsy Johnson.

The Amazing Betsy Johnson

de·sire

/dəˈzī(ə)r/

Learn to pronounce

noun

plural noun: desires

1. a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve definitely had put a manager in their place a few times about having commentary about my hair or my work clothes because you have to know your place when you’re speaking to me. I be smiling and I think people think they say whatever but, no. The desire to look like someone unlike yourself is called self hate. I knew I was circling back around for something lol. You have to love who you are and fuck what people say. I remember when people would say mean things and ill agree with them how silent it always got. Like yeah, shut up.

Respect Queen

But let’s talk about it. Men do fall for aesthetically driven women and vice verse. The right man will fall for your confidence because it oozes through your pores. You know you don’t give a fuck when you go anywhere not making awkward eye contact with every single person in the spot and you’re just focusing on your destination. When you’re too caught up in trying to look perfect you end up looking stupid and you might just trip because you’re trying too hard. I think as women were more lenient towards how we want to our nigga to look but for men they have an ideal woman in mind to pursue and it may not be you, that’s okay. It’s kinda sad to see how many young girls grow up to still not feel chosen. Always being the 3rd wheeler or the “ I’m better off alone friend”. I think this whole conversation is really motivated by why women feel less beautiful based on “society”.

Why do you want to please so many people before pleasing yourself?

I feel like these are valid questions to ask the female critics. I’m sure Kevin Samuels covered this in one of his videos so far but forreal, why are we out here rating women? I think the motive comes from women not using their values for things that brings them internal fulfillment. Everything is about shitting on this person to prove a point or trying to impress the next instead of being victorious in their being. Instead of spending so much time telling women they’re not deserving of certain things because of how they look, help them connect with the internal issues that’s blocking them from seeing the bigger picture. Why are we continuing the narrative that makes people want to commit suicide?

Being pretty is cute, it’s not for everybody. It consists of having to search for the perfect foundation shade to long lines in forever21. I use to aspire to be the girl that had all the coll monochromatic outfits with cute shoes to match. After lots of retail therapy, I realized I had everything I wanted but I still felt so empty. Being empty can feel different to many but for me I was working through childhood trauma rather than insecurities. My Leo moon wouldn’t allow me to feel super down on myself for my looks, I look good as hail.

Hot girls utilizes IG filters

Being beautiful is more meaningful, and I’ve called a lot of women beautiful as opposed to being pretty because they have a unique look to them that I enjoy. There’s a more purposeful meaning when you emphasize someone’s beauty because being pretty feels very temporary for me. Like when you wash all that shit off you’re back to square one, respectfully 🙊

Personally I’ll never want to just be pretty anyway, I love being beautiful. Investing time into loving yourself grants you pretty privledge. If you want it so bad, watch Shera7 on YouTube she’s amazing. She teaches women to know their worth while balancing out being feminine with a modern twist. We don’t have to be slaves to get treated well, it’s all about how you move. 🤪

3 thoughts on “Do you want to be a victim or victorious ?

  1. This was a dope commentary piece and an interesting perspective on things. I would argue that despite where you try to fit yourself, someone is not going to find you “attractive” but that’s simply because you are not for everybody and that’s okay.
    I agree that vanity is literally stealing our souls. It’s stealing our unique identity. The only thing original on some of these people are their fingerprints and if someone told them it was unattractive, they’d fix that too!
    A lot of people like esteem in Self. A lot of people lack fulfilment in Self.
    Hopefully they come across this post and get the boost they need to fuck all the extra noise and be themselves!

    Like

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