Being able to revisit my thoughts from the past and realizing where I made mistakes and my euphonies through life is what motivated me to begin writing. I remember receiving my first diary from my West Indian mother. I grew up as an only child with a step brother from marriage, popping in and out on weekends. We both shared the co-parenting lifestyle as kids which made things alittle easier to understand/cope.
I wrote in my diary all through my teens all the way up to adulthood and documented some really monumental moments in my ascension. I remember being so passionate about writing, my 6th grade teacher was completely fed up with my new distraction and he decided to read a few inserts from my diary in front of the class. As an only child, when you begin to discover what turns you on it was the most sacred feeling I couldn’t even explain to my friends. At the time my mind was curious about sexuality and possibly exploring this “feeling”.
The most shocking part of this reading was my first phone sex conversation. It was a very strange but good feeling that I now despise lol. I WAS SHOOK ! But I also think I honestly no longer care to do things that reminds me of the naive version of me. This moment in my life helped me to be very comfortable with things that I enjoy and not feel any shame towards it. It helped me to also understand that owning something that only you’ve experienced doesn’t define you it can simply just be an experience. DeFINE Feminine will be teach you to love who you are and to not feel like you’ve failed at being human.
I graduated from HS in 2013, and life began. I attempted at attending Berkeley College but life behind the scenes caused me to not care about school wholeheartedly. I wasn’t inspired to dedicate my energy in class so I spent some days in school and on 5th ave with my friends. We we’re still young and trying to figure our lives out. School was somewhat jail to us, we wanted to utilize our freedom to shop and prance around the city.
I left Berkely after one semester and attended Centenary College. I was 20 yrs old at this time so I was so close to buying my own liquor for my friends … After a few drunk nights and showing up to my 8ams at 8:45 my journey at this school came to an end after one semester as well due to finances. The idea of college is great, maintaining your way through definitely requires a plan that your provider/ parents are able to commit to.
In 2015, I created my own company to and provide protective styles to women in my community. Over the years I’ve spent quality time getting to know my clients and offering my true authentic self and it has been a rollercoaster learning about business and maintaining my sanity as a business owner through all its challenges.
After 3 years of committing to my brand and everything I’ve built in NYC, I decided to pack it all up and move to Houston,Texas and got an apartment with one of my girlfriends at the time. Taking the leap of faith to try something new and sacrifice everything I knew helped to create a different perspective about life and what we call home. I returned to NYC after a year of Texan escapades and got back to my ” normal life” in Harlem.
After the high of being back home and being welcomed by my loved ones I had lots of withdrawals from the warm weather and also I missed having a friend who made life extremely exciting. NY is a beautiful city full of workaholics who cope in very different ways and I was one of them. Instantly, I began to smoke excessively to not think about the life I actually wanted to live so that I was able to get through living with a parent that lacks empathy and understanding of mental health. A year later I’ve moved into my own apartment and I couldn’t be more happy with my decision. Although there are days where I feel like I can do better, I always reflect on the past and all I’ve gone through which depicts strength and resilience. Life is a long road of twist and turns, you have to know when to twist and when to turn.
As of now, I’m blessed to live to tell my story in a way that makes sense to me. Writing gives me the clarity I need to understand that every season I’ve faced was a necessary lesson. In this chapter, I’ll go into details about the chain of events that were mentioned as well as other discoveries I’ve found early into my journey of DeFINING my Feminine.