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𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙊𝙛 𝘾𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮: FreeDOM

FreeDOM- the ability to dominate your freewill to be your authentic self.

As a Goddess, you must value quality over quantity while embracing the freeDOM within your mind, body, and soul. The more that you are free, the less you worry about the ideal version of things. You are aware that everything will play out within divine timing so it’s your duty to enjoy the fruits of your labor. The only sense of control that we have is creation. Even those little scenarios we create within our mind can be controlled by creating a life you dream of. Exclude the nightmares and embrace your wildest dreams because you fucking deserve it. Why spend your life waiting around for things to fall into your hands when you have the power to create? Spirit is urging us to release all of what we’ve been drowning in for the past few years and create a Nu way of life. Waiting for someone to come back or to apologize is an exchange of ego in rotation. It adds no value to your life because honestly what is for you will simply be. As we continue to move through our journey of life, the more joy we find in the creation of the evolved self. Fixating on the end result will keep you in a dark and enclosed box. Focus on your higher self and stay away from the limiting beliefs that you were once taught or people who think in limitation.

Here are a few ways you can utilize your creativity this week:

Create a meal for yourself or a loved one 🥘

Be creative with your choice of ingredients and create an intention to make the meal out of love. Play some soothing music to help you focus on the creation of this meal and place each portion of the meal nicely on a plate. Cooking is a great way to be creative especially when you have the freedom to cook alone or with someone that helps you bring out your Top Chef.

• 🍂 Create your Fall Playlist 💽

After months of Healed Girl Summer, we are now approaching the Fall season in North America. It’s time to curate your Fall playlist with new sounds to enjoy during this chapter of your life. Personally I’ve outgrown a lot of artist so I’ve deleted a good amount of music from my Apple Music to make room for music that speaks more to my spirit. As a music connoisseur, I’m always on the look out for new music to consume on a daily basis. This is a perfect time to set the tone for the next few months with music that truly speaks to you, have fun with it!

Create Nu Memories 📹

Now that Quarantine is finally over, it’s time to get back out and live life alil bit. Plan an outing with friends/family that allows you to put your phone down and enjoy the moment unless you’re taking selfie’s of course. Don’t settle for anything you’ve done before, try to do something out of your element like apple picking or something fun. As the weather begins to change, I’ll encourage you to do the same and find nu ways to create memories to look back on in a few years.

I’m sending lots of love and creative juices your way. Tap into your creative ability to bring forth the projects/interest you’ve always wanted to present to this world and have some fun. Apart of finding your purpose requires movement and like the weather you most be in motion. That’s the energy for this week, stay tuned for more downloads from DeFINE Feminine 🕊

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Reclaim your Power: Set The Tone

Grand Rising Goddess!

The past few weeks has been filled with so much transformational energy. From the Capricorn new moon to the moon moving into Gemini, it’s been giving dead end vibes lol. You’ve been doing a great job at setting the tone for who you’re becoming and what you will tolerate in this next chapter. It took alot of courage to do so and I’m so proud of you for not running away from facing the demons first hand.

For a very long time, you’ve allowed others to convince you that you’re insane for recognizing when things are completely inhumane. As of now, you’re no longer afraid of who you are. Embracing the characteristics of self that makes you feel at home within your body is truly rewarding. You asked God to humble you in moments where you were cornered by every attack inflicted onto you. His way of humbling you was allowing you to continuously shine that light of yours. Although it was upsetting the demonic people around you, it has allowed you to not shrink to make them feel comfortable in moments they intentionally tried to break your spirit.

Affirmations that helps me to reclaim my power when the shift happens:

  • I am a powerFUL spirit
  • I am a peaceFUL spirit
  • I am fully aware of the energy I bring and it doesn’t need to be shared with those who are not conscious
  • I no longer feel bad about standing up for myself because nobody does it better than me
  • I will give myself time to analyze my emotions because they are valid
  • I am divinely protected and there’s no need to embrace fear when God is by my side @ all times
  • I am very selective of who I chose to spend my time and energy because my energy is exclusive
  • I chose courage over comfort in order to continuously evolve
  • I am brave and bold in my pursuit of my BEST life
  • I am unique and I will no longer try to relate to everyone because that’s not my job
  • I will detach myself from those who cannot respect my boundaries and my time
  • I am changing the world by changing my life in small ways daily

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the courage to be fully present within this beautiful life you’ve chosen for me. In times of need, I call onto you for guidance and a peace of mind and you’ve been able to take away any worries of mine by listening to what my heart always wanted which is peace. You’ve protected me from my enemies and sheltered me from any harm that has been sent my way. I thank you for providing protection when projection was present, I thank you for the endless love that I’ve been given, I thank you for the wisdom you’ve granted me with in order to see the light in times of darkness, and I thank you for cleansing my heart, mind, and soul to always love and to be aware of my actions towards others who simply do not have good intentions towards me. I pray that you allow them the peace that they need in order to ascend one day. During this time I ask you to keep me focused healing self, finding a stronger will, and accessing my personal power. Thank you for the confidence, the wisdom and the peace you’ve granted me to do so.

Amen 🕊

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Identifying Narcissitic Traits + Reparenting Yourself

“The terms “red pill” and “blue pill” refer to a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth, by taking the red pill, or remaining in contented ignorance with the blue pill.”

One of the hardest pills to swallow is the truth and a lot of people are not willing to hear it. Especially from those who you’re not smart enough to speak proudly. The truth may be the best thing that has happened to me and it has helped me clear out the delusion that has been implanted in my head from those who intentionally tried to minimize my efforts to being a good person for myself and those who I love. When you get around someone that challenges your character your natural instinct is to humble them, I get it. Pedo like, when are you going start taking accountability for the life you chose to live. With the help of social media, we tend to experience a lot of people living in delusion. Their lives behind the scenes do not match their reality yet you’ll never know because we’re allowed to selectively choose what we want others to percieve of us. The goal is to maintain the idea of who they think they are but to protect who they truly are.

Recently, I chose to disconnect from my birth mother after years of enduring narcissistic abuse. Ideally in the black community, we do not associate discipline or other toxic control programming with abuse which comes from our history of slavery. Alot of our parents normalized beating and speaking down on their children because they grew up seeing it done do them when in reality it simply causes resentment and it’s all motivated by ego. But beyond the abuse, I took a step back and realized that it must have taken a lot to raise me. Apart of understanding why things happen to you is being aware of where it’s coming from. Growing up in a single mother home where there wasn’t a father figure to maintain the balance has caused a lot of flare ups within the household. Unfortunately, because of the imbalance there was no way of putting a stop to a lot of the events that caused me to despise my mom’s way of parenting.

– Mom

One thing I’ve learned about having narcissistic parents is that if they can afford to financially manipulate you, they will. Being able to wave your money in your kids face so that they can feel the need to submit to you is narcissistic. All children want from their parents is love, no matter what age they are. Once I was able to identify these toxic behaviors within my relationship with my mom I decided to cut all tides. I’ve been studying what love means to me and how I want to be reflected in my life and this particular relationship wasn’t giving. I had to ask myself, would this relationship work if money wasn’t involved. Is there genuine love involved or is it conditional, and I realized instantly based on the level of sabotage I’ve endured for so long the conditions no longer suites me.

I’m always willing to learn more about why certain relationships do not work because out of all my relationships, the most toxic one is with my mother. The lack of respect and boundaries mixed with the over consumption of her personal matters began to dawn on me. Online she’s able to paint a picture where she’s this supportive, loving, generous mom but in real life she disregards my feelings, she continuously speaks about herself and what she has, and she uses me to fill the void of not seeking loving and fruitful relationships that allows her to show up as her TRUE self. This illusion has caused an inbalance within my mind because I’ve been consuming a lot of her emotions which always made me feel like the parent in a way.

The decision to depart from someone who has done such a great job at making sure the world sees their efforts instead of truly honoring my word and valuing my time was priceless. It has been quite a ride continuously having to intake negativity within our relationship and it’s finally time to move on. After a while you realize that once you’ve dropped the very things that is causing you so much mishap, all of the fears of you not being enough goes away because it was just blocking your vision the whole time.

Source: Web MD- How to handle a Narcissitic Mother

I’ve been spending time in a meditative state of mind and praying for more and more @ peace as the days progress. One of the most valuable prayers that has been helping me with this process is the one and only : Lords prayer.

Whenever God strips you from those who are so familiar to you, be graceful. He has a plan and we have to trust that whatever he has destined for us must come with a more rewarding solution. Love does not equate to suffering, you must embrace change in order to set yourself free from the life you use to know.

Reparenting myself has been one of the most vital parts of my self love journey. Accepting the fact that I’ll probably never get the love I deserve from my parents has been a very long heartbreak BUT learning how to heal myself was key. Healing can come in various forms but reparenting yourself is your second chance at being a mom or dad. It may seem weird but the wiser you get, the more shit gets weird honestly lol. Sometimes in life people are not able to see outside of themselves and as someone who’s in charge of the life that they live you MUST see outside of yourself and take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. Your obligation is to make sure your emotional wellness is held at the same standard as the things that falls into the category of vanity.

Tips on how to reparent yourself :

1. Start your day with love daily

Do things that makes your heart feel full of love. Things that make you feel loved will translate to you given yourself the love you deserve. This can be something as simple as taking a nice cool shower or doing your favorite clay mask. It doesn’t have to be major, but prioritizing your self care is key.

2. Create a list of things you refuse to accept within your life

Often times, we allow people to disrespect of overstep our boundaries for the said of being nice. Being nice is usually taught to those who were taken advantage of and eventually you grow up thinking that being “nice” will change that. Ideally, being intentional is key. If you intend to maintain your boundaries, those who surround themselves around you will have no choice but to do so in order to be in your presence. Look at your existence as an honor, value it.

3. Give yourself daily rewards

I cannot tell you how much I overly spoil myself because of all the bullshit I’ve dealt with in my past. It can become excessive only if you lack discipline but the goal is to never limit yourself. If you feel like you’re deserving go for what you want, buy that caramel frappe and enjoy every sip of it.

4. Stay in the present and practice mindfulness daily

Often times, we tend to be extremely nostalgic and we end up ruining our day by time traveling back to traumatic events that broke us. Sometimes it’s best to just live in the present and embrace all that God is providing for you during this time. Being mindful of your thoughts, word, and actions will help you to be clear about how you intend on moving forward.

5. Think and create beautiful memories

If you’ve had a rough past, create a more meaningful future for Yourself. Depending on your level of freedom you are in control of your own destiny. It’s now time to create the story you’ve always wanted to read, the beautiful story that you want to share with your kids one day, and the story that you’re able to document in photo or visuals so cherish forever. Leave that sad shit in the past, that is no longer your burden! It’s time to free yourself from the shackles of your past.

6. Stop looking for mommy and daddy in your partner define your own meaning of love

This is the most important one but I wanted to ease my way into this tip. Ideally, you will be setting yourself up for failure if you’re seeking the same qualities that you wanted fro your parents in your partners. The two shouldn’t associate with each other because sometimes we’re not cut out to receive that love because it causes the same codependancy you’re trying to break. Only you will know how this love you seek feels so simply do it yourself. It may seem harsh but nobody will love you the way you love yourself unless you put them in training lol. There may be a few attributes that may remind you of a parent such as being kind or protective but you cannot expect that instantly. The more you pour into you, and create boundaries for your mental wellness, you’ll begin to attract the love you’ve always needed.

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Divine LOVE

“Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely. … He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken.” 
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Love is one of the most meaningful things that were granted in this life. We always hear about Gods love, mommy’s love, ect but we’re now coming into a time where self love is being highlighted in our lives. Knowing what love means to you allows you to move through the world with the intention to share your gift with others that are worthy of your energy, and not everybody deserves that shit.

Since I was a little girl I’ve valued my friendships that taught me about sisterhood because I wasn’t raised with my biological sister. My sister had a different assignment in this lifetime and I wasn’t included which I was totally okay with. Her mother passed on very early into her life so she had to raise her 3 other sisters after migrating to NYC from Antigua. My dad never really made an effort for us to come together because he was so fixated on making sure that I was given all the love and admiration as a kid. I went to church with my dad every week in my Sundays best down to the socks. I was always getting flewed out and getting the opportunity to explore different countries with my dad along with a few visits to Disney world upon request. I guess you can say I was pretty spoiled and he made sure to take dozens of pictures for me to remember those precious moments. Now that I look back, this is where the divide came in between her and I which later turned into jealousy. Once my dad got older he began to show his ass by being extremely resentful towards me for continuing to live with my mom because he felt like he was able to raise me “better” than she can. This is the shitty part of having unhealed parents, they tend to play tit for tat even with their kids. Unfortunately, my dad was great for gifts and trips but from an emotional standpoint he was useless. I grew up and discovered my worth in relationships and that’s when the transactional relationships no longer held value in my life. It’s super easy for me to disconnect from anyone that isn’t able to understand the concept of an intimate relationship which is an energy exchange that requires you to dig deeper than the surface.

My family relationships we’re always rocky because even though we’re related, it’s wasn’t enough to fully relate to my family members. I’ve always felt like I didn’t relate to my family because all I recall is lots of conflict and no unity. I recently had a great conversation with one of my girlfriends discussing the different strengths we see in one an other and one of the things she brought up was my willingness to do things without having the ideal family dynamic I desire. I take pride in being able to do what it is needed to cultivate the love I desire despite who wants to contribute. Learning that people are people has really allow me to detach from the lack of love presented in karmic relationships so I decided to focus on those who are able to be present and at peace with themselves.

What are karmic relationships ?

A karmic relationship is a relationship meant to facilitate the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime surrounding love and partnership.

I find that if you spend your life trying to persuade those who are closed minded to the possibility of change is a disservice to self. Same applies for my relationships with partners, I refuse lol. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been shown love by my parents and ideally everyone I’ve encountered tried their best to show love in the way they felt they could. It wasn’t enough for ME, but it was all they had. This all goes back to family, if your family isn’t able to protect and guide you to love and heal from past experiences it’s something you have to do on your own. Unfortunately I met them at a time where they weren’t aware of how impactful that could have been in order to be in a healthy relationship.

Thank God I’ve overcame heart breaks that were caused by infidelity or disappointment but I remember feeling like damn, why are they able to do this casually? Making love to people who don’t even know what love is seems alittle unproductive so at the time I settled for quickies because I didn’t love myself enough to know the energy exchange with sex influences how you feel. As I’ve gotten older I realized that I had to stop giving my love to people who do not deserve this divine coochie especially when they’re not real with who they are. People sneak around in their relationships because they’re afraid to face themselves. I just wrapped up the first season of Run the world and it has highlighted so many relationship dynamics that I personally experienced. I loved the show and everything it was giving but I’ll get into that another time. I saw a few things the characters displayed that I can totally relate to such as running back to an ex that didn’t believe in me, dating someone older who wasn’t able to understand all that it took to be in my position, having to face an overbearing but loving mother that just wants to make sure I’m happy, and of course friends that are simply still figuring shit out.

Friendships are my favorite part of my life as of now because I’m learning how to create healthy bonds with my friends so we’re able to teach and take a few notes from each other. I had to let go of the friendships that only held weight when we were gossiping or trauma bonding about men and family members that we cannot change. It took a lot out of me to do so but it had to realize that you don’t have to settle for relationships that do not serve your higher purpose. I’ve been able to reconnect with a friend I departed from two years ago and it’s been so divine. I really needed that time to gather myself and transcend into the woman I’ve always wanted to be. I couldn’t see myself being this person two years ago because I simply wasn’t ready to be accountable for why I was living this sad, pitiful life. I’ve dealt with friendships in the past that were based on us living in the same environment but we did not relate.

I remember falling on really hard times in 2013 and I was living in East Orange, NJ. I’m a New Yorker to the core so I genuinely felt like a fish out of water living in this huge 3 bedroom 2 family house with my mom and her boyfriend at the time. My friends from school would come over to hang out and everything seemed great at first. One day my stepdad decided to move out without letting us know and took ALL his shit. As a little girl I was fucking devastated, and I couldn’t understand how someone could be so heartless. My mom and I came home to an empty house, no explanation, just silence. The lack of communication came from a lack of accountability on his part and he’s apologized ever since but it doesn’t change the memory that was implanted in my head at a time where I was so happy to have a home where I saw my parents work together to live and to share beautiful memories. Unfortunately I was never considered within the agreement.

As a teenager in that moment I felt hopeless like what can I do to help ? Who can I call on for help? Not knowing that it was my responsibility to be the parent but the person that should have been more aware than me simply wasn’t. I took on the emotion of fear from a very young age coming from a place of instability and confusion within the household. I couldn’t even think of anyone to confide in at the time because it felt unnatural to ask my friends or family for funds to help us from not getting evicted but it was inevitable. I had to just go with the flow trusting that my mom would take the initiative to make sure I’m set up for a better outcome. Things escalated pretty quickly as bills began to pile up and soon or later we began packing our belongings to evacuate the premises. I was left to pack up our belongings with my boyfriend at the time while she went enjoyed a luxury vacation with her friends at the time. Constantly experiencing abandonment has brought me to space where I was afraid to speak up for myself. When I did it went unnoticed and shit will always go exactly as planned because I be knowing when shit is about to go left. My intuition has picked up drastically once I become a teenager so there’s that lol. I felt like I needed to keep my truth to myself with little to no time to fully heal and progress. I felt very stuck dealing with the emotions of others that has never considered me, my safety, and my peace.

It becomes a thing of knowing what you want and the parts of you you’re willing to sacrifice to see the results of a healthy relationship. I know no ones perfect but I’ve been able distinguish love and company. Some people take up space while love fills you up like your favorite home cooked meal. Children should never have to suffer with you based on you wanting to live a life that only benefits you and how you’re viewed. They deserve love and harmony even when things get tough, that is for YOU to carry as a parent.

Through it all, I’ve learned that I’m worthy of the kind, and delicate love that I know exist. I know hurt people hurt people so I have no animosity towards my stepdad for his decisions in the past because he’s broken hearted from whatever has shattered his idea of love in the past. It took alot of strength out of me to heal from all the trauma he has caused in my life as a young girl but it was necessary for me to separate myself from the chaotic energy that surrounds him. Abandoning your family and neglecting them from love that they deserve as a parent or partner, is a disservice to self because spirit always deals with you accordingly. When I decide to have children I’ll be so aware of who I am and what I stand for that my partner will willingly provide the family unit they deserve because love begins at home. Alot of people are out here having kids with a broken heart that sometimes never gets healed because you now have to raise another human being that didn’t ask to be here, I refuse to be that kind of parent so until then I will continue to pour into myself, pour into my home, my partner, and my tribe.

Life will always grant you great company as long as you go into it with an open heart. Fix your heart so you’re able to be present for those who pour into you. Pray for those who don’t know what true love is. My heart truly breaks for you. I pray that you come to an understanding that life is all about transformation and you have to be ready and willing to do the work to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Treat people the way you want to be treated, it will come back to you 10 fold.

The negativity that has transpired in my life in the past no longer serves any justice to self nor my ego. I’ve reached a point where I don’t care to fix the past and solely embrace the beautiful love my partner provides because ideally I never had to ask for it. For the first time in my life a man came into my life and I didn’t have to suffer before I saw the love I deserve. This all came from me being patient and always doing the right thing even when the suffering turned into depression. Transmuting that draining energy into a beautiful reality that I love and appreciate now. This energy has allowed me to give gratitude to the moments that were lessons in disguise and I passed ! So can you, you have to leave people where they’re at instead of forcing your ideas upon them. If you know love, you’re already abundant in your existence and that’s all you need to attract divine love into your life.

Be blessed my loves ❤

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Do you want to be a victim or victorious ?

One of the most common topics being brought up on twitter this weekend was pretty privilege. My homegirl sent me a video that really tickled my spirit so I wanted to give my honest commentary regarding the issue. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the amount of projection being emphasized in the video. Before you think I’m ruthless just take into the account how many times this girl could have taken some time to herself to think why do I feel this way? The video begins with her admitting to intentionally changing her image to impress a particular man she’s seeking. The ones that usually have nothing to offer and they hunt for vulnerable women the moment they walk into any public place. I feel like you should get pretty for you and enjoy it for you so the intention is for you to feel better about yourself. Once you wash that shit off you’re back to who you are. I think that’s why alot of people are getting so much cosmetic surgery. I hate to say it but vanity is really killing our spirit.

She goes on to say that her “friends” gets way more attention from men in comparison to her and she eventually stopped hanging out with women that took the attention away from her. I’m not going to quote the whole video but it felt more like projection rather than accountability. Beauty shouldn’t be compared it should be admired and when you’re constantly in comparison mode towards those who are born with other features other than yours you’ll be a victim forever.

This young lady is extremely beautiful to ME. Perhaps the men that she’s looking for in her particular region have some sort of illness that prohibits their ability to embrace a woman that actually looks like she’s apart of the family without any questions asked. Black people are EXTREMELY curious and they’ll be sure to ask you all the details. If you’re grown enough, you’ll tell them to mind their f******* business but that’s up to you.

Having a preference in dating is based on your personal comfort. I have no issues with black women exploring outside of their element because we do endure ALOT of shit. But it’s still alot of shit on the other side. Enjoy the video though, it’s extremely insightful on the reality of how it is to be a woman living in a fixed reality. She still has time to open her mind to the beauty within herself for overcoming so much turmoil growing up while casting it as confidence. It’s not about how you look my love, it’s about who you are. Find people who love and adore you for you, it’s not a crime…

Click the photo and just listen 🌚

What is pretty privilege?

Pretty privilege is the idea that people who are deemed more attractive based on societal beauty standards have an upper hand in the world.

As much as I’d like to defend the idea that the world wouldn’t accept you unless you need to look a certain way, I think it’s all about the spaces you try to fit yourself into. I’ve been around so many different women in my lifetime that usually never looked anything like me. I subconsciously did that so I’m able to understand the pros and the cons of being a woman living in different realities. I don’t recall ever feeling less than someone because I didn’t look like them because the goal was to look like myself.

My experience in the work world has always been interesting because during the time I was out scouting for a new job prior to me starting my business I was a little dusty to say the least. I did not invest in myself the way I do now and it’s simply because I didn’t really know who I was. I also didn’t really care about beauty standards because I was too busy trying to be the black Betsy Johnson.

The Amazing Betsy Johnson

de·sire

/dəˈzī(ə)r/

Learn to pronounce

noun

plural noun: desires

1. a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve definitely had put a manager in their place a few times about having commentary about my hair or my work clothes because you have to know your place when you’re speaking to me. I be smiling and I think people think they say whatever but, no. The desire to look like someone unlike yourself is called self hate. I knew I was circling back around for something lol. You have to love who you are and fuck what people say. I remember when people would say mean things and ill agree with them how silent it always got. Like yeah, shut up.

Respect Queen

But let’s talk about it. Men do fall for aesthetically driven women and vice verse. The right man will fall for your confidence because it oozes through your pores. You know you don’t give a fuck when you go anywhere not making awkward eye contact with every single person in the spot and you’re just focusing on your destination. When you’re too caught up in trying to look perfect you end up looking stupid and you might just trip because you’re trying too hard. I think as women were more lenient towards how we want to our nigga to look but for men they have an ideal woman in mind to pursue and it may not be you, that’s okay. It’s kinda sad to see how many young girls grow up to still not feel chosen. Always being the 3rd wheeler or the “ I’m better off alone friend”. I think this whole conversation is really motivated by why women feel less beautiful based on “society”.

Why do you want to please so many people before pleasing yourself?

I feel like these are valid questions to ask the female critics. I’m sure Kevin Samuels covered this in one of his videos so far but forreal, why are we out here rating women? I think the motive comes from women not using their values for things that brings them internal fulfillment. Everything is about shitting on this person to prove a point or trying to impress the next instead of being victorious in their being. Instead of spending so much time telling women they’re not deserving of certain things because of how they look, help them connect with the internal issues that’s blocking them from seeing the bigger picture. Why are we continuing the narrative that makes people want to commit suicide?

Being pretty is cute, it’s not for everybody. It consists of having to search for the perfect foundation shade to long lines in forever21. I use to aspire to be the girl that had all the coll monochromatic outfits with cute shoes to match. After lots of retail therapy, I realized I had everything I wanted but I still felt so empty. Being empty can feel different to many but for me I was working through childhood trauma rather than insecurities. My Leo moon wouldn’t allow me to feel super down on myself for my looks, I look good as hail.

Hot girls utilizes IG filters

Being beautiful is more meaningful, and I’ve called a lot of women beautiful as opposed to being pretty because they have a unique look to them that I enjoy. There’s a more purposeful meaning when you emphasize someone’s beauty because being pretty feels very temporary for me. Like when you wash all that shit off you’re back to square one, respectfully 🙊

Personally I’ll never want to just be pretty anyway, I love being beautiful. Investing time into loving yourself grants you pretty privledge. If you want it so bad, watch Shera7 on YouTube she’s amazing. She teaches women to know their worth while balancing out being feminine with a modern twist. We don’t have to be slaves to get treated well, it’s all about how you move. 🤪

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“Paying for sex is a crime.”

“Paying for sex is better than dating.”

I began to google ” Paying for sex” and these were the top searches I found on the search engine before completing my sentence. Why is it a crime though ? Why is there such a huge gap between people who are willing to pay for an experience versus those who would rather work for it ? Well .. People pay for convienece. Whenever we’re given access to convenience most of the time we would choose the easiest way to get what we want.

This only works for people who have access to disposable wealth. Traditionally it’s rich white men who are more than willing to supply beautiful women with money in exchange for their time but black men pay too. We’re just not there yet to speak about it openly but they pay. Sometimes in times of need, people are willing to pay for convenience when they’re looking for the fastest way to feel pleased and validated. As women, we do a very good job at helping men feel more secure within themselves because of our intuitive nature. We can easily help boost the ego or dominate the ego within seconds. Hence why there are more female sex workers in the industry, that are on TOP 😉

During the quarantine, numerous people began to discover their authentic selves, whether it was their toxic traits, taking accountability, or healing their childhood trauma. This time inside forced us to see ourselves in our true form. At the top of the pandemic in 2020, there was an immense amount of people who fled into sex work as a way to make an extra source of income. As time progressed, the leading platforms such as OnlyFans, Cam Soda, and MFC which allows everyday SWers to network and make income for themselves grew bigger and bigger to the point where our “favorite celebrities” took the liberty to jump on the band wagon to shake a little ass as well. They used their following to capitalize on a fast growing platform that allows you to make money per subscription + tips. This new trend began to create a disconnect between those who were exploring for their personal sexual desires and those who were gaining power based on the temporary validation in exchange for money. The money aspect is great, it has to be one of the most liberating ways to make money within this time period, BUT it can also very limiting.

Suki’s onlyfans is actually pretty good though, I think she’s doing a great job at upholding a balance between her personal and business endeavors but is her persona prohibiting her from being taken seriously as a rapper ?

Men value sex over emotions because emotions makes them look invalid in society. Having to deal with always being tough, strong, and ethical is sometimes challenging for them. They find their escape from reality in a sexual way and sometimes the things they truly desire aren’t traditional ways of seduction. The majority of men that pays for sex are into paying for a discreet and consistent person who’s able to please them without any strings attached. So yes, paying for sex is extremely easy compared to dating. Dating consists of alittle more digging for more than what’s on the surface. They don’t want to know your favorite color, they want to nut.

Often times, men would rather not have to deal with the maze of navigating someone from the core. Although they’re looking to pay for an experience that strokes their ego, I think the woman should be allowed to name her price for her time + the emotions that comes with the experience. Sex is nowhere near surface level but it can be. Despite wanting to pay for an easy going experience, it will always be an energy exchange that you will always pay for; somehow.

Chanel Valentine

In 2018, I began to explore a different part of myself as a cam model and became Venus. Venus is my alter ego who is confident, sexy and super nurturing. She also knows how to set boundaries to stay secure in her being but her super power was to heal others from inside out. Once she began to thrive online she began to gain “clientele” who would religiously engage in her random rants/ topics of conversation or for a quick tease before requesting to pay her to video chat them privately. She was showered in tokens, cash app deposits and gifts from Amazon wishlist. It helped her to understand that in order to obtain these things she will always have to put aside personal emotions or challenges to make her money.

I began to feel very empowered by having the ability to make money by using my mind and body but with having to deal with so many people who felt entitled to my time all the time it became less and less empowering. I feel like the empowerment comes from the ability to gain new money, new viewers, new followers, and new looks. But I began loosing power once I lost a sense of my true self. The girl that enjoys going to the park and spending time in nature, the one that loves to write, travel, and loved life. I thought being myself was being hyper sexual after a while but it wasn’t who I solely was. I was being offered to do things that were out of my comfort zone like “free” trips here and there to meet strange men that were willing to “take care of me”, along with offers to “collab” and make porn with other performers. One of my vows to self was to enjoy this chapter of my life and make it my own.

Are you who you really think you are ?

I never wanted to become famous or exploit my essence for temporary validation from strangers. At first it sounds like a good idea for business but I was very conscious of my energy within this space and I didn’t want to use it for shit that I’ll probably regret later on. Everyone has their limits, others don’t care about what happens because they’re solely focused on the money. The offers came at me quickly but I was never fond of the idea. Also my safety is top tier lol. I refuse to put myself in a predicament to possibly not return home in exchange for money because SWers are often times very disposable to men in power or treated very poorly if you’re not firm in your intentions and boundaries. Along with the offers, I noticed that the commentary about my body no longer phased me. Like how many times do I need to know how good my ass and titties look, I realized it was no longer feeding my ego. I love being admired for my mind and the energy I exude naturally. I no longer cared to be validated by men that relied on me to ejaculate on a daily basis because there’s more to life than what your body can do.

One thing I’ve learned is that if you haven’t built a knowing of self prior or during the exploration process, it’s probably going to be hard to break away from the fantasy lifestyle. It’s somewhat of an alter ego that you learn to embody overtime but I personally desire simply being the Demi goddess that I am. Behind the glam, the amazing orgasms, and the fun experiences you may encounter, we often forget the gist behind why we chose this line of work. I’ve always been very focused on enjoying myself but I always came across men who were going through things in their marriage or within their relationships and they confided in me to somewhat feel better. I was not only a cam girl, I was also a therapist, their little secret, or the ” Fun girl”. But like who the fuck was my therapist ? My REAL friends, God, and my diary. At the time, I wasn’t even making enough money to afford a therapist even if I wanted to because the amount of money I was paid to be on cam or making content was extremely low. It was a challenge to make a living based on the money being provided and to afford mental care. Women are often times used as the human outlet for men to confide and indulge in their true pleasures meanwhile we’re often times not compensated for the amount of work that’s actually being put into sexWORK. It’s definitely work because if you don’t show up, you will not get paid unless you secured a trick. I was blessed to do so in order to compensate for my lack of interest in working harder to make more money. I grew tired of possibly being online for hours engaging just to make pocket change. You’ll have a better chance making more money providing the “ girlfriend experience” rather than Caming which consists of alot of screen time and finding other ways of making money in between. There are millions of other women that are ready and willing to work and they’re accessible via twitter, only fans, instagram, you name it.

There were times when I needed someone to understand when I was too sad or in too much pain to be online but “I needed the money”.These people did not care about what I had going on because it was mainly about them. I was only compensated when I was present and available for them. It’s somewhat like a no call no show, when you don’t get paid and your boss doesn’t give a shit about what was actually happening because their concern is getting the job done. Within my time entertaining men online for money, I’ve built very short lived relationships that didn’t help me balance my real life and work because within my real life I am extremely nurturing, flexible, and at peace. In this industry it’s about you finding innovative ways to be sexy but I ran out of fucks to please the masses. I remember getting my first check and I was super excited to get better at caming so I can meet the top cam girls scores but there was always something prohibiting me from progressing within this industry and I think it was only supposed to serve as a extra stream of income so I can move out of survival mode. But to see the amount of money you can make from the comfort of your home just being you can really boost your ego to the max!

After realizing where my heart resides, I took an exit from the community to find a new life that I truly desired.

Somewhere I can be loved by someone who sees me outside of this realm.

Somewhere I can be at peace without having to be front stage to exude this feeling.

Somewhere I’m allowed to be free from being viewed as one person because I am multidimensional.

Somewhere that I can simply live and make a steady income that allows me to be free and as creative as I wish to be.

Things I learned during Sex Work

Know yourself; Know your worth.

Have fun until it’s no longer fun.

You’re not limited to one version of self.

Say no and vocalize when you’re uncomfortable.

It’s okay to be sexy, it doesn’t have to be for anyone but you.

Secure the parts of self that feels insignificant in your life .

It is okay to do what’s best for you.

Featured

Stimulating the mind, body, and soul

“Paying for sex is a crime.”

“Paying for sex is better than dating.”

I began to google ” Paying for sex” and these were the top searches I found on the search engine before completing my sentence. Why is it a crime though ? Why is there such a huge gap between people who are willing to pay for an experience versus those who would rather work for it ? Well .. People pay for convienece. Whenever we’re given access to convenience most of the time we would choose the easiest way to get what we want.

This only works for people who have access to disposable wealth. Traditionally it’s rich white men who are more than willing to supply beautiful women with money in exchange for their time but black men pay too. We’re just not there yet to speak about it openly but they pay. Sometimes in times of need, people are willing to pay for convenience when they’re looking for the fastest way to feel pleased and validated. As women, we do a very good job at helping men feel more secure within themselves because of our intuitive nature. We can easily help boost the ego or dominate the ego within seconds. Hence why there are more female sex workers in the industry, that are on TOP 😉

During the quarantine, numerous people began to discover their authentic selves, whether it was their toxic traits, taking accountability, or healing their childhood trauma. This time inside forced us to see ourselves in our true form. At the top of the pandemic in 2020, there was an immense amount of people who fled into sex work as a way to make an extra source of income. As time progressed, the leading platforms such as OnlyFans, Cam Soda, and MFC which allows everyday SWers to network and make income for themselves grew bigger and bigger to the point where our “favorite celebrities” took the liberty to jump on the band wagon to shake a little ass as well. They used their following to capitalize on a fast growing platform that allows you to make money per subscription + tips. This new trend began to create a disconnect between those who were exploring for their personal sexual desires and those who were gaining power based on the temporary validation in exchange for money. The money aspect is great, it has to be one of the most liberating ways to make money within this time period, BUT it can also very limiting.

Suki’s onlyfans is actually pretty good though, I think she’s doing a great job at upholding a balance between her personal and business endeavors but is her persona prohibiting her from being taken seriously as a rapper ?

Men value sex over emotions because emotions makes them look invalid in society. Having to deal with always being tough, strong, and ethical is sometimes challenging for them. They find their escape from reality in a sexual way and sometimes the things they truly desire aren’t traditional ways of seduction. The majority of men that pays for sex are into paying for a discreet and consistent person who’s able to please them without any strings attached. So yes, paying for sex is extremely easy compared to dating. Dating consists of alittle more digging for more than what’s on the surface. They don’t want to know your favorite color, they want to nut.

Often times, men would rather not have to deal with the maze of navigating someone from the core. Although they’re looking to pay for an experience that strokes their ego, I think the woman should be allowed to name her price for her time + the emotions that comes with the experience. Sex is nowhere near surface level but it can be. Despite wanting to pay for an easy going experience, it will always be an energy exchange that you will always pay for; somehow.

Chanel Valentine

In 2018, I began to explore a different part of myself as a cam model and became Venus. Venus is my alter ego who is confident, sexy and super nurturing. She also knows how to set boundaries to stay secure in her being but her super power was to heal others from inside out. Once she began to thrive online she began to gain “clientele” who would religiously engage in her random rants/ topics of conversation or for a quick tease before requesting to pay her to video chat them privately. She was showered in tokens, cash app deposits and gifts from Amazon wishlist. It helped her to understand that in order to obtain these things she will always have to put aside personal emotions or challenges to make her money.

I began to feel very empowered by having the ability to make money by using my mind and body but with having to deal with so many people who felt entitled to my time all the time it became less and less empowering. I feel like the empowerment comes from the ability to gain new money, new viewers, new followers, and new looks. But I began loosing power once I lost a sense of my true self. The girl that enjoys going to the park and spending time in nature, the one that loves to write, travel, and loved life. I thought being myself was being hyper sexual after a while but it wasn’t who I solely was. I was being offered to do things that were out of my comfort zone like “free” trips here and there to meet strange men that were willing to “take care of me”, along with offers to “collab” and make porn with other performers. One of my vows to self was to enjoy this chapter of my life and make it my own.

Are you who you really think you are ?

I never wanted to become famous or exploit my essence for temporary validation from strangers. At first it sounds like a good idea for business but I was very conscious of my energy within this space and I didn’t want to use it for shit that I’ll probably regret later on. Everyone has their limits, others don’t care about what happens because they’re solely focused on the money. The offers came at me quickly but I was never fond of the idea. Also my safety is top tier lol. I refuse to put myself in a predicament to possibly not return home in exchange for money because SWers are often times very disposable to men in power or treated very poorly if you’re not firm in your intentions and boundaries. Along with the offers, I noticed that the commentary about my body no longer phased me. Like how many times do I need to know how good my ass and titties look, I realized it was no longer feeding my ego. I love being admired for my mind and the energy I exude naturally. I no longer cared to be validated by men that relied on me to ejaculate on a daily basis because there’s more to life than what your body can do.

One thing I’ve learned is that if you haven’t built a knowing of self prior or during the exploration process, it’s probably going to be hard to break away from the fantasy lifestyle. It’s somewhat of an alter ego that you learn to embody overtime but I personally desire simply being the Demi goddess that I am. Behind the glam, the amazing orgasms, and the fun experiences you may encounter, we often forget the gist behind why we chose this line of work. I’ve always been very focused on enjoying myself but I always came across men who were going through things in their marriage or within their relationships and they confided in me to somewhat feel better. I was not only a cam girl, I was also a therapist, their little secret, or the ” Fun girl”. But like who the fuck was my therapist ? My REAL friends, God, and my diary. At the time, I wasn’t even making enough money to afford a therapist even if I wanted to because the amount of money I was paid to be on cam or making content was extremely low. It was a challenge to make a living based on the money being provided and to afford mental care. Women are often times used as the human outlet for men to confide and indulge in their true pleasures meanwhile we’re often times not compensated for the amount of work that’s actually being put into sexWORK. It’s definitely work because if you don’t show up, you will not get paid unless you secured a trick. I was blessed to do so in order to compensate for my lack of interest in working harder to make more money. I grew tired of possibly being online for hours engaging just to make pocket change. You’ll have a better chance making more money providing the “ girlfriend experience” rather than Caming which consists of alot of screen time and finding other ways of making money in between. There are millions of other women that are ready and willing to work and they’re accessible via twitter, only fans, instagram, you name it.

There were times when I needed someone to understand when I was too sad or in too much pain to be online but “I needed the money”.These people did not care about what I had going on because it was mainly about them. I was only compensated when I was present and available for them. It’s somewhat like a no call no show, when you don’t get paid and your boss doesn’t give a shit about what was actually happening because their concern is getting the job done. Within my time entertaining men online for money, I’ve built very short lived relationships that didn’t help me balance my real life and work because within my real life I am extremely nurturing, flexible, and at peace. In this industry it’s about you finding innovative ways to be sexy but I ran out of fucks to please the masses. I remember getting my first check and I was super excited to get better at caming so I can meet the top cam girls scores but there was always something prohibiting me from progressing within this industry and I think it was only supposed to serve as a extra stream of income so I can move out of survival mode. But to see the amount of money you can make from the comfort of your home just being you can really boost your ego to the max!

After realizing where my heart resides, I took an exit from the community to find a new life that I truly desired.

Somewhere I can be loved by someone who sees me outside of this realm.

Somewhere I can be at peace without having to be front stage to exude this feeling.

Somewhere I’m allowed to be free from being viewed as one person because I am multidimensional.

Somewhere that I can simply live and make a steady income that allows me to be free and as creative as I wish to be.

Things I learned during Sex Work

Know yourself; Know your worth.

Have fun until it’s no longer fun.

You’re not limited to one version of self.

Say no and vocalize when you’re uncomfortable.

It’s okay to be sexy, it doesn’t have to be for anyone but you.

Secure the parts of self that feels insignificant in your life .

It is okay to do what’s best for you.

Continue reading “Stimulating the mind, body, and soul”
Featured

Find your Inner Voice

Inner Voice– the voice in your head 🤓

Your inner voice becomes present once you’re ready to listen to the things you want to attract and cut tithes with thoughts that no longer serve you.

Issa Rae, Insecure the Show

We often have mental conversations with ourselves projecting the possibilities of things that we dream of, possibly not working out. I often physch myself out of things that I strategically planned out because of FEAR.

fear/ˈfir/ – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Your mind can be used as a threat to self and a threat to the things you aspire to achieve. The voice of others, pressures and sets an expectation that you may not be able to uphold. Realistically speaking we’re on a constant journey to become our better selves and it doesn’t happen overnight.

Confusion, deception, and lies are some of the most powerful and common ways to redirect your energy. Be clear about how you want to define your voice.

Decide to embrace GOD’S voice.

Kash Doll- For everybody

How does he speak to you ?

A knowing ( your InnerG colliding your Intuition) knowing what you desire and figuring out a constant plan to execute.

Thoughts – Ideas randomly aligning with his word/character. Many of us are not walking around praising God enough for me. God is a spirit within self, it is a complete embodiment of greatness. If we’re not trying to get to specific with gender we can refer to God as spirit. The things that miraculously fall into place, it is God sent, chosen and preserved just for you.

You already know who it is

The Tone represents the feeling that can vary based on the emotion and the urgency that the person may need to enforce an agreement. I’ve learned how to be more self aware of my tone when I speak on different things that I experience because others may not receive my delivery the way I intended it to be received. The goal is for the recipient to overstand your tone but more importantly overstanding your heart. I find that in times of conflict sometimes we tend to judge how things that are said during the heat of the moment. Many times, when things are said to intentionally cause a reaction it triggers most. Self awareness plays a huge part in tones and delivery, if you are able to put yourself in the opposites persons shoes and they cannot reciprocate that level of understanding things will not go well. In other cases, getting to know the heart allows you to understand that things do happen but we can always find a way to recover from the original point.

Me back in the day

Growing up Caribbean, I was not allowed to speak up for myself. It was somewhat forbidden for children to respond to their parents unless you’re answering a question. Don’t let it be rhetorical while you’re mad 🙂 Either way I got to a point where there was no way that I was able to hold my tongue. Now realizing that the Gen Z generation is single handedly annihilating every mom and dad in the building, I’m Lowkey jealous. I wish I was able to find my voice earlier in my teens because a lot of things would have went my way ( BETTER) because as a millennial, we know everything lol.

Jimmy Smacks

Knowing your truth is definitely important when finding your voice. Always explore and research where your emotions are coming from so you’re not unsure about how to express yourself. The person on the receiving end only knows the version of you that they have in their minds. It is your job to present them with the wiser and the more self aware version of you by being strategic with your deliver. Do not cause any harm with your actions or your word, speak the truth and you’ll begin to feel your breakthrough.

Tarik, Power Child Star ( Rude Bwoi )

Finding your voice is all about power. Always provide an opportunity for growth on both ends of the exchange, and allow yourself to be authentic in your word. Speak the words that represents who you are you and what you love. This can vary based on your human experience so try not project when you’re speaking to those who you don’t know like that. The little voice in your head that’s holding you back from showing up for self in times where you feel misunderstood, will eventually start responding in a relevant tone, and a knowing that your truth will set you free.

Featured

Does my Afro make you uncomfortable ? | 𝙰𝚏𝚛𝚘 𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚙𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙸𝚗 𝙷𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢

February was Black History Month but going forward we’re celebrating all year. I decided to purchase my very first Afro wig to embrace a cultural hairstyle that embodies grace,sex appeal, and culture. To some, afros may not have the same influence but I created a different narrative within present time. In my neighborhood most women find different ways to normalize straight textured hair with the influence of weaves, wigs, and other straight styles.

As women we now have the choice to chose what style fits our mood but after a long day of adjusting ourselves for societies acceptance we get down to our afros, straight backs, and my favorite Da Bonnet. I wanted to try a bold look to pay hommage to the foxy ladies that came before me and somewhat travel back in time so I can understand how it felt to embrace a cultural style that we don’t see on a daily basis. It was quite a head turner but as a black woman, that’s regular for us.

Ari Lennox and Queens, Bussit Video Set

The etymology of Afro derived from Afro- American which was the original “natural” look within the black community in the early 1960’s to 1970s. Over the years as people of the black decent, we’re taught that our natural kinky textured hair is unkept, undone, and socially unacceptable. This has been shown on television in various shows and movies to show others that afro kinky hair is wrong or sometimes “dirty”. I love the representation of black men and women embracing their hair in todays society. When I first got introduced to Issa Rae, she was one of the first women who looked like me on television that didn’t have a 30 inch weave down her back but she tried various styles with her natural hair in her comedy-drama series Insecure. Issa displayed an array of natural hairstyles which influenced many black women who who can relate to her to try different styles on their hair despite the length. The mentality of long hair in our community was another way to limit our beliefs of beauty and I really love discovering beautiful women who are shamelessly embracing their natural hair.

The first discovery of the relaxer began with Garrett Augustus Morgan in 1909. His hair cream was found accidentally when trying to find a solution to ease friction of sewing machine in his tailor shop. Garrett Morgan tested his cream on a neighboring dog’s fur and with the success of the cream, he established G.A. Morgan Hair Refining Company and began selling his product to Black/mixed people. Relaxers later became the best way to conform to European-American standards and was introduced to the black community as creamy crack or cream relaxers. The tingling substance made us feel cooler, sexier, and socially acceptable. The relaxer companies began to market their product with black men and women showing their love for their new texture.

Kat Williams, African American Comedian

This reminds me of a scene from my favorite movie Coming to America 1 when the Soul Glo commercial came on and the actors we’re depicting a very sensual and sexy looser curl fro for black people. The movie then showed a scene where a few cast members got up from the couch and their hair was dripping of so many products in order to maintain this silky style. Unlike the classic Afro that only requires oils and a afro pic to maintain the shape and to subconsciously to keep your hair from attracting any lint or anything that can latch on to it.

Coming to America,1988

The Afro embodies grace,stature, and confidence because it fills the space where others tend to blend right in. If you walk into a room with people who are not able to wear an afro, the room may seem “normal” and here I came strolling through my local drugstore in the isles with my BIG BOLD AFRO. I know some people were shocked by the amount of hair I had on my head so naturally some will stare and other brothers and sisters complimented my statement piece because in today’s society its extremely rare.

Amara La Negra, MTV awards

The afro style required less maintenance than the modern day Frontals or weaves because it mimicked the natural texture of black people across the board. It was socially inappropriate to wear your “natural hair” in “professional” environments including work or school from 1960-2019. Men and women were not granted jobs or access to professional opportunities unless their hair was in tact or tamed. In 2019, a bill was passed to regulate discrimination amongst Black people and their hair. Unfortunately the stereotypes will continue as people who do not quite understand our hair, that’s not up to us to change. What we can do though is continue to embrace all forms or natural hair styles that makes you feel confident.

Society will continue to underestimate black excellence until someone of a different decent rocks our styles, makes it “trendy”, then capitalize. Owning your afro, kinky,coily hair is an act of self love and respect for our culture and self acceptance. We have the power to create our own depiction of our own hair both good and bad because sometimes we do need to switch it up. We have that ability to constantly switch it up, try different colors, textures and lengths with your hair but never be afraid of the hair that grows from your scalp ; It’s beautiful !

Holiday Full Face Glam

Getting dolled up for the holidays is one of my favorite things to do because it’s the perfect time to wear lots of green + glitter ( my two favorite things). If you need a lewk to pull off for your virtual Christmas party or to take Christmas photos with your loved ones, this is it. I decided to pair a soft and sultry green lid with a warm transition color in my crease to keep the Christmas theme going.

I’ve outgrown the super highlighted look on my cheeks so I simply added some blush and made the main focus my lips and my eye look. I usually don’t do this but I added these fluffy lashes to give my eyes a more dramatic yet wispy look for the gworls. Obviously this last step is up to you but I wore this beautiful unit from the Janet Collection to spruce up my look a bit more with the super firey red highlights. I had a lot of fun filming this because it was very grown and sexy and perfect for the holidays so that you can be the shining star wherever you decide to celebrate!

Hair link : https://amzn.to/3p7HubU

Color: Mixed Crimson

Makeup Products Used:

Brows: Wet N Wild Ultimate Brow Kit – Dark Brown

Hands down this brow palette will always be in my top 10 favorite makeup products. I discovered it early into my makeup career when I couldn’t afford Anastasia Beverly Hills. Once I was able to get my hands on the Anastasia brow duo , I told myself that would be the last time she gets my money’s for a brow product because what’s the point? This palette is perfect for travel and super affordable and it works just like any other luxury brow powder.

( https://amzn.to/3EhEQVq )


Concealer: LA Pro Concealer – Fawn

Fawn has became every dark skin girls fave since the highlight and contour trend took over YouTube. I remember the days when this concealer was $1.99 but I guess with the demand of this product, they began to raise the price to $4.99. I appreciate the brush applicator but I really wish they would upgrade us and give us a glass tube to dip into with a soft applicator. I must say, because this is a squeeze tube product, you’re able to get every last bit of it which is pretty dope.

( https://amzn.to/3J34jFG )


Eyeshadow: Morphe 35 M Palette

I’ve had this palette for a few years and it’s super useful. I feel like if you’re into doing soft makeup looks, this palette is for you. They also have a few pops of color so you’re not completely bored with your eye looks so there’s alittle wiggle room to experiment.

( https://www.morphe.com/products/35m-boss-mood-artistry-palette )


Fenty Beauty Galaxy Palette

When this palette dropped, I went NUTS. I was like oh nah! Rihanna dropped her first makeup palette? Where’s my moneys ? Lol. Even though this is no longer being sold on her site, you can find it on Poshmark and eBay. It’s definitely such a gem. I love how sparkly each shadow is, they really do the trick especially if you spray your brush with alittle setting spray.

( https://posh.mk/7uEcaXvp7lb )


Morphe 10G Glsen Up Palette

This was an impulsive buy. At first I wasn’t too fond of this palette but it came in handy when I needed some new sparkly colors to layer on top of my matte eye looks for a extra POP of color.

( https://posh.mk/ESX3rryp7lb )


Lashes: Mink Lashes from AliExpress


Foundation: NARS Sheer Glow – New Calendonia

This foundation is a good gem to have in your collection. I like to fluctuate between this and my maybelline FIT me foundation so I’m not having to go through my bottle quickly because that price?!?! But it’s so worth it so I’ll hush.

( https://www.ulta.com/p/sheer-glow-foundation-xlsImpprod15251337?sku=2539039&cmpid=PS_Non!google!Product_Listing_Ads&cagpspn=pla&CATCI=aud-837744060918:pla-1435361261416&CAAGID=116327427728&CAWELAID=330000200001685349&CATARGETID=330000200002824009&CADevice=m&gbraid=0AAAAAD9rLH7ykKOjuupYoYM84PN0N1vgx&gclid=Cj0KCQiAzfuNBhCGARIsAD1nu-8I7870_vNnG8ChLfH48w7SRpWg1C0c2l_wcsLVkKl_TjxFrAWdZHYaAtWuEALw_wcB)


Setting Powder: Sacha Buttercup Powder

A GEM. Go get it.

( https://amzn.to/3e4e3kA )


NYX Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Mattifying Powder – Caramel

I came across this powder in Walmart one day. I’m happy that I picked it up because I’m a huge fan of the liquid foundation from this line so I knew this would be a product that would easily blend right into my complexion collection.

( https://amzn.to/32k6MKY )


Contour/Bronzer/Blush: Morphe Highlight & Contour Palette 8H

( https://posh.mk/pfzI03Op7lb)

Lips: Brown Lip Liner + Clear Coconut Lipgloss From Local Beauty Supply Store

Girl so let me tell you, this lipgloss is a super staple for me!! Especially when I’m trying to preserve my juicy tube gloss lol. It’s affordable BUT you have to be careful how much you apply because it will get ALL over the place and it will piss you off lol.

https://amzn.to/3EaLwEF

https://amzn.to/3p9ne9A


Setting Spray: Zambo Aroma Rose Water

( https://zamboaroma.com/product/rose-water/ )

Igniting The Internal Flame

Wow, We’ve finally made it to the end of 2021. What a year full of lots of suffering, transformation, and truths. This year has been a blessing in disguise in ways that I could have never imagined. Through the times where I was super hard on myself for not having it all together, I thank God for letting me wait because things are so much more awarding when you have to put in the work for it. I learned how to be more patient with my process of illimination because quite frankly, I wanted to cancel everyone in my life one by one. Being irrational and impulsive with my actions only lead me to feel alone in the past and in order for me to grow I need real niggas on my team. Instead of wanting more money, friends, and for my business to grow. I obtained more stability, security, peace, more loving connections, and as a bonus, beautiful home to create new memories with my loved ones. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on all the work that was put into creating this life of my own and I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude for the time and effort that was put in to create a masterpiece.

Me to the left while the opps watch me shine

I’m proud of myself for creating a blueprint that is giving me the opportunity to be the woman, the writer, the wellness coach, the digital creator, the girlfriend, and the friend that I’ve always wanted to be. I’ve always been good at these things but, I somewhat suppressed my inner strength to because I felt like I was too much all at once, until I realized that it’s apart of my calling to be alittle too much. I think right now it’s all about who and what is worthy of experiencing this “too much” of a person that I am. It’s not easy to always surpress your greatest power because it lives within you each and every day and it will hurt you more to ignore the things that come very natural to you. Now that I’m more accepting of who I am, I’m able to fully show up for myself without any need for validation. As a Leo moon, I enjoy compliments so I will never sit here and say I don’t enjoy that aspect of being a fucking star…. But I’ve been able to validate myself by doing things that fills my heart with joy without being told to do so and to me, that’s growth.

Kundalini Inner G

Kundalini is considered to be a life-force energy, meaning it’s a major source of internal power. We all have it, but not all of us have experienced it as “awakening.”

I’ve been able to obtain more wisdom from simply sitting down with myself and doing shadow work to resolve any internal issues that I’ve been facing for far too long. All of the things I use to blame others for, no longer lives rent free in my head because Ju gata pay! I’ve allowed others to dictate my happiness to the point where I was driving myself crazy trying to please them within the process. Then, I had to get to the root of the issue. I had to realize that I am my own safe space and my job is to simply BE. Who ever I am, is enough and there’s no need to go outside of myself to prove anything to anyone outside of me. Getting to the root means connecting with your root chakra. The root chakra is sometimes referred to as the Muladhara chakra — for its feminine energy. The Muladhara chakra is the first of seven chakras located at the base of the spine hence why it’s so painful to heal this particular aspect of self. Our internal bodies structure is based off of the strength of the spine and when we abandon our structure(aka our needs/desires) we neglect ourselves from obtaining true peace and happiness.

Coming to terms with my truth allowed me to feel more connected my own perception of what happiness is because it does exist and it’s very tangible. Earlier this year, I was so insecure and I didn’t give myself enough compassion to take it easy during such a fragile time in my life. I wanted it all, all at once and I had to learn the hard way by one releasing everyone who deprived me of dreaming big. I always remember having visions of being in a graveyard, showing up for multiple funerals but nobody around me was physically dying but subconsciously, they we’re departing from me spiritually. I had to learn that detaching from things that continuously disappointed me was necessary because my soul contract no longer resonates with suffering, that is an outdated agreement. Once I was able to purge out all of the people, places, and things that no longer gave me the security I deserved, all that I’ve dreamed of came flowing to me naturally. I had to do a checkin to see what my “What’s next” was and all I heard was to simply “Just be you”.

“This is real, this is me I am exactly where I’m supposed to be” – Hannah Montana

Who I am, is who I’ve always wanted to be and that feels good to say. I gained strength, a new perspective, a new community, new ways of making money, and an overall new lifestyle that allows me to now be so paranoid about things that are happening outside of me. I had to connect to my roots in order to gain the inner strength to show up as my true raw-thentic self. At first, it felt like the long dark tunnel that everyone refers to, but then I was able to see the light and I began to shine in ways that truly resonated with who I am as a person. I’m not a sad girl, I’m not broken, I’m not frantic, I’m confident, I’m loving, I’m silly, I’m wise, I am all that I am. No matter how chaotic life may be, life is good. I no longer carry the weight of being unsure of my strength because God has proven to me that I can be anyone I devote my time to be whether for the good or the bad, I will be just fine.

Mr. Incredible 🤓

As the days progress and we move into a new year, take some time to reflect on the past, present, future, and thank God/the Universe for bringing you thus far. Appreciate your process and progressively move into alignment with who you truly are and who you aspire to be. You may have accumulated a few bruises along the way but you have the power to ignite your own flame to simply just BE great. Re-DeFine your zest for life, for love, for peace, and creativity and create space to heal from your past wounds so that you’re not blocking your blessings to come. Take time to connect to your inner self for guidance, you will never be strayed away from your assignment by following your inner voice.

“You have to maintain a culture of transformation and stay true to your values.” –Jeff Weiner

Peace & Love to you all !

Happy Holidays ❤

This blogpost was inspired by these sounds: